The first day of high school is always great. I have my life put together, my hair down, and my mind free of stress. I also tend to have a lot of friends. I walk down the halls and think of what a happy shade of yellow the school used to accent the brown doors. Opening edline is equivalent to opening presents on Christmas morning. My iPad functions perfectly and I am thankful for the technology in the world. I have a great time meeting up with my friends and catching up on the summer because I spent my days hiding in my house in fear of seeing someone I knew from school that I don't want to talk to. This all lasts for about two weeks. Classes eventually become harder and students and teachers get little to no sleep. I love to come into school and fight because it turns into a crank fest of teenagers and their elders making each other cry about a late assignment. The process of opening edline leads into more of a "dang it" reaction than a song and dance. Extracurricular activities become mandatory so the student body can let their talent shine. I am absolutely positive that when recruiters see the talent radiating off of me on the bench at soccer, they all say "Ohh. Look at that kid over there. We want that one at our school." In defense, I am actually not a fan of other people launching balls at my body. I do not like to go up and guard them either because I am literally shoving myself closer to the muscular woman than I was before. If people want the ball so much as to beat me up for it, then have at it. At the end of an average school year, I am down to about two friends. My hair is up and I can no longer think. I completely trashed my GPA at this point but there is way too much to think about to be worrying about an aspect that will be the fate of my financial aid in college. It cannot be that important. That beautiful yellow color in the hallways I once talked about is the cause of my anxiety and life turns into a constant battle of wether or not it is worth it to show Dane the broken iPad. To believe that I ever smiled and laughed in school is disgusting. High school is a killer.
Want to know my favorite part of waking up way too early in the morning to go to school? It is to go to school and be excluded by every group because we were not playmates at the age of five. Yes, I just love the exclusiveness of the friend groups. It allows me to really let my imagination run wild. Sometimes, I am a ferocious beast and whenever I attempt to interact with humans, they tell me to get back! Sometimes, I am the king of the jungle, a lion, and my presence intimidates the humans whose eyes go wide with fright as they cower in fear. Sometimes I pretend I am an outlaw in the Wild West who runs the whole town. It is not not them, my criminal status is just intimidating.
The good part is, whenever anyone plans get-togethers, the cost for food is never too big because barely anyone is going to go! Another group being caught in another's? No way, too much controversy and diversity. Remember those birthday parties in middle school where everyone used to dance together? Not anymore. Everyone knows by high school all the other groups develop cooties. Why would anyone want to be exposed to something as contagious as cooties?
I actually appreciate the exclusiveness because it makes me more self aware. I just spoke and no one acknowledged it. Does my breathe smell that bad? Oh, I will just go pop in a breathe mint. I am stuck in a group project with none of my friends and all my ideas are being ignored. Do I really sound that stupid? Okay, I will just stop talking. That group over there keeps looking at me as they talk. Is my eyeliner messed up? No, but my eyeshadow is, I better go fix that. Everyone knows acceptance is more important than academics.
Lauren, I like the imagery you used about what it is like to try and talk to people. It can be intimidating, and I know what you mean when it feels like acceptance is more important than academics. I haven't known anyone since the age of 5, so that makes it even harder, because I don't share any of there memories. Too bad we aren't as open as we were in middle school! What high schooler would want to get cooties, right?
Lauren, I do not think that you could have hit the nail on the head any harder in your imagery against people who refuse to expand their horizons and actually get outside of their comfort zones. It is very rare to see groups intermingling, except for a few who have managed to become friend with nearly every person in the school. I believe that it is legitimately the worst thing in some people's mind to try and go outside of their comfort zones and I honestly wonder what will happen when they go to college and are forced to see the bigger picture.
I can't wait to go to school today and talk to all the people who drive me crazy. That's exactly what I want to do in the early morning hours. But I will be nice to them and keep my cool even many could take more time in the morning on their hygiene. But I will be nice, plug my nose, and talk to them. When the bell rings to go to class, I can't wait to pick up my heavy book bag and mess up my back more than it already is. When I get to class, I'll be sure to take out my iPad and check my email for today's schedule, wait, who ami kidding. We never get the right schedule. Then I will go to iMessage and message all my friends about today's gossip while the teachers talk about the upcoming test and how we have class time to study. Class time to study, no way am I doing that I don't even study at home. Going to lunch is a treat, but a bland one. All the food taste the same with all of the health laws we have to follow. Can't wait to have tacos again for the second time this week. I know we will have soft tacos, taco pizza, and taco salad all in one week, we sure do love tacos. After lunch we get to have recess. What high school has recess? This time will be spent verbaling stating what was said in the group message to talk about more drama again. Then I can go to my next classes and play everyone in sticky golf on the iPad. Boy do these iPads sound so much fun. Trick is that they have to work and they work all the time! They never cause anyone any problems at all. Oh how I love those wonderful iPads. After school I'll go how and do only an hour of homework because the teachers know we already spent so much time in school and need to have a break when we get home. After my homework I'll have all the time in the world to do some hobbies of painting and reading. Oh but remember, we only get an hour of homework, not five. What kind of teachers would give five hours of homework a night? After a long hard day of school, I go to bed and wake up ready to start it all over again. Boy don't I love school.
My Day: 6:45 AMEST: Wake up 6:46 AMEST: Do homework I feel asleep doing last night 6:55 AMEST: Get Ready for school 7:10AMEST: Be ready for school 7:11 AMEST: Wake my brother, then wait for him to be ready 7:20 AMEST: leave 7:27 AMEST: arrive at school 7:29 AMEST: have Mr. Hanes say good morning 7:31 AMEST: Sit in the library and talk to people I barely know 7:50 AMEST: Go to Chemistry 8:27 AMEST: Accidently start a chemical reaction that could blow up the school 8:28 AMEST: Chuck my experiment out a window, and watch it blow up 8:45 AMEST:Have a wonderful AP Lang class 9:37 AMEST: Fall asleep in cultures while learning about stuff I really don't care about 9:50 AMEST: Have Stags wake me up before Mrs Young even notices I fell asleep 10:10 AMEST: Dread the thought of going to calculus 10:14 AMEST: Go to calculus 10:32 AMEST:exchange an evil glare with Mr. Hanes 10:36 AMEST: be sad 10:55 AMEST: report to Physics 10:56 AMEST:resume rocket construction 11:38 AMEST: Go to lunch 11:42 AMEST: pizza tastes like cardboard 11:50 AMEST: sit in gym and contemplate the end of the universe 12:30 PMEST: stress out over marriage project 1:00 PMEST: be $0.08 off on accounting final 1:11 PMEST: fix the problem 1:12 PMEST: be $10,000 off 1:12 PMEST: cry 1:38 PMEST: learn logarithms...again... 2:10 PMEST: go talk to a table full of people I kinda sorta know 2:25 PMEST: go home 2:30 PMEST: arrive 2:50 PMEST:start khan academy 2:53 PMEST: throw my computer across the room 2:54 PMEST:quit after not knowing how to do half the problems 3:39 PMEST: go to Walmart to get food 4:30 PMEST: cook the food 5:10 PMEST: eat the food 6:00 PMEST:start homework 7:00 PMEST: get distracted while watching the pirates game 9:30 PMEST: get back to homework 11:00 PMEST: fall asleep while doing homework. Repeat Boy, I love school. Can't wat to do it all over again...
Your satire was great, Giz. I really liked how you structured yours. The description of school by time was very unique, and drew attention to how most people count down the day from the morning until they go to bed again. The brief descriptions next to the times helped convey the simplicity and monotony of a typical school day. Many of the descriptions also served to satirize specific aspect of the school itself. The final three sentences serve as a reminder of the continuity of the situation, and prove to the reader that you could care less.
I liked the way you structured your satire. It was different so it stuck out compared to the rest of ours. You had really good points that many of us could agree with. I'm sure all of us have aleast one common time and though with you so it makes it really relatable. Every satire written actually is relatable for every, but yours with time makes it even better.
That was very thoughtful, Gizzy. Like the others said, it did really stick out in a group of blogs and interested me enough to continue reading once I started. I like the evil glare and the trig table points that you made. Also, the marriage project is fun so I do not know what you are talking about! All you have to do is calculate how much gas money we will spend for our honeymoon while Sydney and I pretend like it is our own wedding and go dress shopping! But seriously, your satire was unique and effective.
Gizzy, this is hysterical! I laughed so hard reading this. It was so you. I loved how you structured your blog. It was as if you were just including short little quips to entertain the audience in a unique way. Every single one was hilarious, but my personal favorites were "Accidentally start a chemical reaction that could blow up the school," "Chuck my experiment out a window, and watch it blow up," "Have Stags wake me up before Mrs Young even notices I fell asleep," and "Exchange an evil glare with Mr. Hanes." This was just awesome. Great job.
Nick I love the way you did a timeline of your day at school. It was a really neat idea because we often go through the same routines without even noticing. I think the reason your set up worked well because each of us know what you are talking about in some situations making it really relatable to us all. I really think I ended up enjoying yours very much because it stood out and was different from the norm.
Nick, I feel like your short lines really intrigued the reader's mind and engaged them into reading. Your humor with exaggeration was also very effective wi bowling experiments up in the chemistry lab. It is also highly relatable because almost every student has a subject they despise and a teacher they give deathly looks to because of it.
Doesn't it just add a jump to your step waking up in the morning at the butt crack of dawn to go and associate with people that could not care less about you? I think in addition to waking up so early and hanging out with best of the best, it bring me so much excitement to know I can look forward to a joyous bus ride on a bumpy road with my eighty-three year old bus driver, who has been known to almost kill us all a minimal of three times per day. Then , when I arrive at school, I love having to push people's book bags away from my locker because they have no idea what personal space is and listening to the stories in the hallways about who got drunk and slept with who this weekend. I think it is good to hear the story rather than just smell the sin in the air! It makes me so happy to know that the our class officers ran the chance of being arrested last night. The reassurance for seeing any of my friends after high school at any form of reunion is defiantly there. Another thing that I can't get enough of is that since I did not grow up with ANY of the kids in this school, I do not know any of the middle school stories that no one seems to comprehend happened up five years ago. Also, it is great that when you are not a part of any of these cult-like friendships that you can be included, but only to a certain extent. The ultimate part of the school day is defiantly coming home though, because what is better than thinking that you can relax, but then realizing that you have three papers to write, a book to read, and some key terms to do? The best part is when you hit the point of tears and they end of smearing the pen on your papers that you worked so hard on, which causes you to cry harder. At some points, I might also feel as if selling a limb of yours might be the only way that I will ever make money will be by selling one of my limbs to science or on the black market, but that point of anxiety. Then, I realize that I can just use the money to pay off the education that is causing me the anxiety in the first place!
Your satire was very well done, Jenna. I loved the phrase "our class officers ran the chance of being arrested last night. " I really showcases what a state our grade is in. Class officers are supposed to be role models for the rest of the class and encourage others to aspire to their greatest potential. Our class officers are just the opposite. Ironically, most of the class seems to follow their example. This self-destructive lifestyle drastically reduces the number of reunions they will attend in the future, as you pointed out.
I know how you feel with the middle school stories Jenna!! I to feel left out, I try to tell my mom middle school stories that are funny to me, but no one else thinks they are funny because they weren't there. I too talked about the homework in my satire. Some nights it is never ending!
Jenna, I am replying to your blog this week in defense of Charlotte. I believe that she is a wonderful bus driver. She never once wrecked in the last three years that I have been riding the bus. She has a heart big enough to move a dead cat off the street and to turn around and drive back to St. Marys when I left my gym clothes on the bus freshman year. She makes sure we practice our fire safety and will drop us off at the middle school on exam days. She is definitely not as crazy as our substitute driver who delivered me to my house by 2:35pm last year. I love Charlotte and I hope you have a change of heart.
I agree with both of you Jenna and Maddie! At least you guys a couple years worth of memories to share with them. I don't have any, but I guess I will once this school year is over! I too feel left out, and try to tell them some of my middle school stories that I think are funny. But like you said Jenna, they only let you in to a certain extent.
I just think it is not fair to insult our class officers. Everyone makes bad decisions. They also make good decisions. It is unfair to judge them based off them. Our class president is heading off for the army this summer, therefore I feel there needs to be respect.
be.eccss. School is everything. I eat, sleep, and breathe school. I eat terribly because lunch is a time to be.starved. Cafeteria food is the best for losing weight due to the lack of nutrients it provides. Still, I love how the lack of it helps me rush along so I can be.early to class. Sleeping school was sort of a lie. I never sleep because in order to learn I need to be.awake. I even need to be.awake during the night. How else would I be.able to do all my homework? Sleep never really was important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, so I hardly even notice I don't have it in my life anymore. Besides, my grades are far too important for sleeping on. I need to be.theBest in every class or I'll be.aHobo for the rest of my life. Breathing school is not an exaggeration. The stench of body oder and heavy perfume makes school a place where I can be.sufffocated. But these things are just the basics! In addition to all these wonderful attributes, school helps me be.wellRounded. I love to be.athletic and be.musical. With all the clubs and sports around, school is helping me be.talented. School is also a place to be.ostricized. Little cliques and big cliques are sure to be.judgmental, and everyone in them will be.afraid to be.friends with anyone else. No worries, if I need acceptance I could just be.someone'sGirlfriend. All these couples blocking the hallways sure seem to be.inLove. I should just stand and observe because they've already made me be.late for my next class. Now my teacher is going to be.angry, even though it wasn't really my fault. Who decreed that the halls should be.sixInchesWide? Maybe I can placate her by asking questions. Maybe if I could be.smart. she would know I really do want to be.here. School is my life after all. My purpose is to be.eccss.
Ashley, this was so funny! I loved how you extended the satirizing of the be.eccss slogan throughout the whole blog. It fit in so nicely and really made your blog pertinent to our school system in particular. Another aspect I absolutely loved was how you mentioned the couples blocking the hallways who must be.inlove. I constantly find myself weaving in and out of couples hugging and kissing all over the hallways. It was really funny how you mentioned them as your reason for being late to class. How true! Great job.
Oh my goodness, Ashely I literally laughed out loud for like ten minutes after I read this. You really incorporated our motto in the most effective and true way possible! Your "be.ecc" theme was really amazing. I would have never though of doing something like that. You did a fantastic job!
I feel like this was one of the most effective satires that I have read. In this satire, you were able to tie in the common thread of the be. phrase that we have all come to know and love. By using that throughout your satire, it made it even funnier because we all knew what you were talking about.
be.eccss. be.eccss. be.eccss... The more I say it, the more I want to vomit. After hearing it for three years, I believe everyone is really sick and tired of it. Your satire perfectly played that God-awful slogan. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Florig would enjoy reading this satire that takes advantage of the slogan that came directly from her brain. And by the way, being a hobo is not that bad. They are able to tell how far away a train is, how fast it's moving, and how much mass it has. That's pretty talented I think. After all, ECCHS wants us all to be.talented, so being a hobo is not that bad.
Ahh, high school. "It's the best time of your life," they say. For one thing, high school is the time when you witness true friendships. Isn't it touching to witness a teenage girl calling that other girl an *expletive-ing expletive* only to see that she has posted a selfie of the two of them the next day with the "#bestfriends"? Those are some #RelationshipGoals, amiright? One's high school years are also a time to make their voices heard. I just love hearing our classmates speaking their minds by proclaiming the f-word a minimum of 16572828473 times a day. So inspiring! Who cares if we go to a Catholic school? Why should teachers scold students for speaking such vulgar language when they can just pretended they didn't hear it! Problem solved! But what I really love about school is the intellectually structured routine of it all. Firstly, I am privileged to awaken so early in the morning that most of my chummy schoolmates have only just kicked the keg from last night's "study group." Then I get to drive my twelve brothers and eight cousins to school half-asleep, only to arrive late because one of them forgot something at home. I then am granted the honor of sitting through seven hours of classes complete with complementary whale noises emanating from the mouths of those who compete for the lowest class rank. Charming. And why pay attention during class when you can spend that time beating the next level of that invigorating game on your iPad! Who cares if you're not learning anything? As long as you have an iPad, you can store all of the test answers in your photo library for later use. And since everyone else is cheating, it would be foolish for you to actually study, or your grade would suffer. For that two-digit percentage on Edline is the single most important aspect of your high school career - NOT whether or not you learned anything. Ha ha at you for thinking otherwise. But better yet, after all of this, I am graciously granted an additional hour of homework by each teacher. "It's only an hour!" they assure me. Eight hours later, when the sun is beginning to rise, I am expected to get nine hours of sleep to quell my "developing brain" that has already been crammed with 56284960375729273658303 irrelevant vocabulary words for HAP that I can't even remember one class period after taking the test. Good thing I'm learning though! Boy, high school really is "The best time of your life."
Mary I love how you did this! I hate how people say that highschool is "the best time of your life." If high school is the best time of my life, then I'm going to have a really sucky life. As you clearly put it, our school really prioritizes when it comes to their students. I really don't like how some of the teachers just dismiss it when the boys in our class start swearing. And I absolutely hate it how the students can cheat on their iPads and get away with it. I mean the least that the teachers could do would be to make everyone put their iPads away and have a paper test to make sure that the students don't cheat.
Mary... Haha... Haha...! I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this. I love how you captured so many areas of high school fun. This was truly well written and each of your main points tied in with each other making your satire very strong and effective. I really enjoyed reading this and even showed/read this too my parents. P.S. I really like the vocabulary comment... Killed me... Haha!!
Mary, I'm so sorry. I f****** laughed my head off when I read your excellent satire. Anyways, jokes aside, I know exactly what you mean when you talk about kids swearing like every other word. I know I'm guilty of it in many occasions, but I'm trying to clean up my language. Also, I noticed your comment on whale noises emanating from the lowest of the low. How else are these students supposed to entertain themselves? Maybe they can do their schoolwork? I don't know...at least we can take solace in the fact they earned the Mrs. Florig-made award of "third honors."
There is nothing I like better than waking up at 5:30 AM, and taking an hour to get ready for school. First, I put on my blouse that is like 2x too big because Flynn's cuts everything humungous for girls. But, the Lord knows we must be "modest!" Then, those socks don't even stay up on your legs, and shrink about 2 sizes when you wash them. Next, up in the wonderful dress code of ECC, we put on our tablecloths. I mean skirts. I mean “kilts.” Because you know, we play bagpipes in school, so we should wear a kilt. We then have those glorious sweaters! You can chose between 2 designer sweaters: wine or gray. They are so designer that we have to send them back 6 times before they put the ECCHS logo on them. I mean, not everyone can get an ECCHS logon on his or her sweaters. Its exclusive. Duh. Then, the dress code changes with the season. Its spring! Glorious spring means we can wear polos! Because you know you can’t wear polos in the winter, because then you will get a detention. Don’t ask why you can’t wear polos in the winter. Its an ECC thing; just like our “designer sweaters.” Then, sometimes we get a dress down day! And by dress down day, I mean you have to wear an ECC shirt and jeans instead of tablecloths and a designer sweater! Oh, you thought a dress down day meant you could wear what ever you wanted? Not at ECC! And then, when it is warm out and we want to wear flip-flops, we can’t, unless they have a back on them. But everyone knows that there are always some people that can fly under the radar with the dress code. Those lucky ducks I tell ya! Girls can’t wear shorts either, because they are immodest. Who cares if the school is like 100 degrees and we are dying of heat stroke? You should still wear jeans or capris, flip-flops with backs, and non-V-neck tee shirt. But eventually, high school ends and we are sent out into the real world. Oh, what will we do when we cannot wear our tablecloths and sweaters each day! Cultivate our own style and sense of fashion? What a novel idea!
Like every other kid in the history of the world, I just love school! I mean who wouldn't want to get up early every morning just to be walking into a minefield of stress and emotions? Every turn comes with a new surprise and every step could lead to total destruction. I can not think of a better way to spend my day than attending Elk County Catholic High School. With constant essays, tests, and pop quizzes, ECC really puts the icing on the cake when it comes to education. Who wouldn't want to spend their entire day studying and worrying about whether or not they are going to pass the test? Oh, and who doesn't absolutely adore having a pop quiz in math, especially when you just learned the material the day before. Then after all of the stress of the actual school day is over, there is all that lovely homework that consumes the rest of the night. The thing that I love the most is when I forget to do my homework and rush to get it done the next morning. Something else that everyone loves is when they worked extremely hard on their homework because they think it's for a grade but then the teacher says that it's not even participation points. Another great thing about ECC is when all of the teachers plot together to make every single test on the same day! Other than the agonizing school work, I love all of the drama that goes on in the school. People lying and gossiping are what I look forward to every day. Hearing how this person did this and that person did that really makes my morning. All of the "OMG did you hear what *insert person's name here* did?" really shows the charismatic traits of the individuals in ECC. When it comes to education, there would be no other school that I would want to go to. ECC has so many desired traits. I don't know why anyone would not want to attend this school, or any school for that matter.
Ahh, morning, I smile as I anticipate another wonderful day at ECC. Then, my alarm buzzes and I wake up to my cat meowing at my door. Reality begins to creep in. I am not at East High with Troy Bolton. My high school experience is no Disney movie. I roll out of bed and put on my uniform. As if dressing up a felt doll, I slap it on. Instead of sitting at fancy vanity, humming an upbeat tune, gently brushing my hair, I spend an hour devising reasons why I shouldn't go to school. Finally, I resign myself to the fact that my parents won't buy any of them and I quickly brush my hair and throw it up in a messy bun. I slide down the stairs expecting my joyous family to greet me with smiles and hugs but instead get a head nod from my brother and a sweaty hug from my dad who just came back from a thousand mile run. I didn't inherit his motivation. Lacking motivation, I don't have the energy to make myself breakfast so I go off to school on an empty stomach in a monster car. Running late, I rush into the classroom. Here come the announcements and I wonder what exciting things are in store for me this week. Instead of excitement, I get the same old, same old... Meatless Monday followed by Taco Tuesday. Oh great, another week of starvation. First period, comes and in goes a movie. Do they really think I can stay awake for this? Don't they know I was up all night studying and then procrastinating and then studying and procrastinating some more? Struggling to keep my eyes open, I blink and it is lunch time already. Time for the daily scavenger hunt of trying to find something edible in a sea of "healthy" options. After "feasting" on an apple and some carrots, I digest some more of my HAP vocab. words. The fifty calories is not match for my fifty word quiz! After failing yet another HAP quiz, I pick myself up and finish the academic part of my day. Now, I rush home to eat all I can before practice. Is this what you had in mind, Mrs. Obama, when you change our school lunch program?? After a long, intense practice, I look forward to enjoying some free time. Oh, never mind, I forgot. The only free time I get is in my car. I now get to spend the next six hours of my life doing homework. What more could I girl ask for? One a.m., I finally nestle in my bed but there are no visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. Instead my mind is filled with sins, tangents and rhetoric rotating in my head. I drift off to sleep, smiling, knowing that I get to do this all over again. Oh, wait! There's the alarm!
The first day of high school is always great. I have my life put together, my hair down, and my mind free of stress. I also tend to have a lot of friends. I walk down the halls and think of what a happy shade of yellow the school used to accent the brown doors. Opening edline is equivalent to opening presents on Christmas morning. My iPad functions perfectly and I am thankful for the technology in the world. I have a great time meeting up with my friends and catching up on the summer because I spent my days hiding in my house in fear of seeing someone I knew from school that I don't want to talk to. This all lasts for about two weeks.
ReplyDeleteClasses eventually become harder and students and teachers get little to no sleep. I love to come into school and fight because it turns into a crank fest of teenagers and their elders making each other cry about a late assignment. The process of opening edline leads into more of a "dang it" reaction than a song and dance. Extracurricular activities become mandatory so the student body can let their talent shine. I am absolutely positive that when recruiters see the talent radiating off of me on the bench at soccer, they all say "Ohh. Look at that kid over there. We want that one at our school." In defense, I am actually not a fan of other people launching balls at my body. I do not like to go up and guard them either because I am literally shoving myself closer to the muscular woman than I was before. If people want the ball so much as to beat me up for it, then have at it.
At the end of an average school year, I am down to about two friends. My hair is up and I can no longer think. I completely trashed my GPA at this point but there is way too much to think about to be worrying about an aspect that will be the fate of my financial aid in college. It cannot be that important. That beautiful yellow color in the hallways I once talked about is the cause of my anxiety and life turns into a constant battle of wether or not it is worth it to show Dane the broken iPad. To believe that I ever smiled and laughed in school is disgusting. High school is a killer.
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ReplyDeleteWant to know my favorite part of waking up way too early in the morning to go to school? It is to go to school and be excluded by every group because we were not playmates at the age of five. Yes, I just love the exclusiveness of the friend groups. It allows me to really let my imagination run wild. Sometimes, I am a ferocious beast and whenever I attempt to interact with humans, they tell me to get back! Sometimes, I am the king of the jungle, a lion, and my presence intimidates the humans whose eyes go wide with fright as they cower in fear. Sometimes I pretend I am an outlaw in the Wild West who runs the whole town. It is not not them, my criminal status is just intimidating.
ReplyDeleteThe good part is, whenever anyone plans get-togethers, the cost for food is never too big because barely anyone is going to go! Another group being caught in another's? No way, too much controversy and diversity. Remember those birthday parties in middle school where everyone used to dance together? Not anymore. Everyone knows by high school all the other groups develop cooties. Why would anyone want to be exposed to something as contagious as cooties?
I actually appreciate the exclusiveness because it makes me more self aware. I just spoke and no one acknowledged it. Does my breathe smell that bad? Oh, I will just go pop in a breathe mint. I am stuck in a group project with none of my friends and all my ideas are being ignored. Do I really sound that stupid? Okay, I will just stop talking. That group over there keeps looking at me as they talk. Is my eyeliner messed up? No, but my eyeshadow is, I better go fix that. Everyone knows acceptance is more important than academics.
Lauren, I like the imagery you used about what it is like to try and talk to people. It can be intimidating, and I know what you mean when it feels like acceptance is more important than academics. I haven't known anyone since the age of 5, so that makes it even harder, because I don't share any of there memories. Too bad we aren't as open as we were in middle school! What high schooler would want to get cooties, right?
DeleteLauren, I do not think that you could have hit the nail on the head any harder in your imagery against people who refuse to expand their horizons and actually get outside of their comfort zones. It is very rare to see groups intermingling, except for a few who have managed to become friend with nearly every person in the school. I believe that it is legitimately the worst thing in some people's mind to try and go outside of their comfort zones and I honestly wonder what will happen when they go to college and are forced to see the bigger picture.
DeleteI can't wait to go to school today and talk to all the people who drive me crazy. That's exactly what I want to do in the early morning hours. But I will be nice to them and keep my cool even many could take more time in the morning on their hygiene. But I will be nice, plug my nose, and talk to them. When the bell rings to go to class, I can't wait to pick up my heavy book bag and mess up my back more than it already is. When I get to class, I'll be sure to take out my iPad and check my email for today's schedule, wait, who ami kidding. We never get the right schedule. Then I will go to iMessage and message all my friends about today's gossip while the teachers talk about the upcoming test and how we have class time to study. Class time to study, no way am I doing that I don't even study at home. Going to lunch is a treat, but a bland one. All the food taste the same with all of the health laws we have to follow. Can't wait to have tacos again for the second time this week. I know we will have soft tacos, taco pizza, and taco salad all in one week, we sure do love tacos. After lunch we get to have recess. What high school has recess? This time will be spent verbaling stating what was said in the group message to talk about more drama again. Then I can go to my next classes and play everyone in sticky golf on the iPad. Boy do these iPads sound so much fun. Trick is that they have to work and they work all the time! They never cause anyone any problems at all. Oh how I love those wonderful iPads. After school I'll go how and do only an hour of homework because the teachers know we already spent so much time in school and need to have a break when we get home. After my homework I'll have all the time in the world to do some hobbies of painting and reading. Oh but remember, we only get an hour of homework, not five. What kind of teachers would give five hours of homework a night? After a long hard day of school, I go to bed and wake up ready to start it all over again. Boy don't I love school.
ReplyDeleteMy Day:
ReplyDelete6:45 AMEST: Wake up
6:46 AMEST: Do homework I feel asleep doing last night
6:55 AMEST: Get Ready for school
7:10AMEST: Be ready for school
7:11 AMEST: Wake my brother, then wait for him to be ready
7:20 AMEST: leave
7:27 AMEST: arrive at school
7:29 AMEST: have Mr. Hanes say good morning
7:31 AMEST: Sit in the library and talk to people I barely know
7:50 AMEST: Go to Chemistry
8:27 AMEST: Accidently start a chemical reaction that could blow up the school
8:28 AMEST: Chuck my experiment out a window, and watch it blow up
8:45 AMEST:Have a wonderful AP Lang class
9:37 AMEST: Fall asleep in cultures while learning about stuff I really don't care about
9:50 AMEST: Have Stags wake me up before Mrs Young even notices I fell asleep
10:10 AMEST: Dread the thought of going to calculus
10:14 AMEST: Go to calculus
10:32 AMEST:exchange an evil glare with Mr. Hanes
10:36 AMEST: be sad
10:55 AMEST: report to Physics
10:56 AMEST:resume rocket construction
11:38 AMEST: Go to lunch
11:42 AMEST: pizza tastes like cardboard
11:50 AMEST: sit in gym and contemplate the end of the universe
12:30 PMEST: stress out over marriage project
1:00 PMEST: be $0.08 off on accounting final
1:11 PMEST: fix the problem
1:12 PMEST: be $10,000 off
1:12 PMEST: cry
1:38 PMEST: learn logarithms...again...
2:10 PMEST: go talk to a table full of people I kinda sorta know
2:25 PMEST: go home
2:30 PMEST: arrive
2:50 PMEST:start khan academy
2:53 PMEST: throw my computer across the room
2:54 PMEST:quit after not knowing how to do half the problems
3:39 PMEST: go to Walmart to get food
4:30 PMEST: cook the food
5:10 PMEST: eat the food
6:00 PMEST:start homework
7:00 PMEST: get distracted while watching the pirates game
9:30 PMEST: get back to homework
11:00 PMEST: fall asleep while doing homework.
Repeat
Boy, I love school.
Can't wat to do it all over again...
Your satire was great, Giz. I really liked how you structured yours. The description of school by time was very unique, and drew attention to how most people count down the day from the morning until they go to bed again. The brief descriptions next to the times helped convey the simplicity and monotony of a typical school day. Many of the descriptions also served to satirize specific aspect of the school itself. The final three sentences serve as a reminder of the continuity of the situation, and prove to the reader that you could care less.
DeleteI liked the way you structured your satire. It was different so it stuck out compared to the rest of ours. You had really good points that many of us could agree with. I'm sure all of us have aleast one common time and though with you so it makes it really relatable. Every satire written actually is relatable for every, but yours with time makes it even better.
DeleteThat was very thoughtful, Gizzy. Like the others said, it did really stick out in a group of blogs and interested me enough to continue reading once I started. I like the evil glare and the trig table points that you made. Also, the marriage project is fun so I do not know what you are talking about! All you have to do is calculate how much gas money we will spend for our honeymoon while Sydney and I pretend like it is our own wedding and go dress shopping! But seriously, your satire was unique and effective.
DeleteGizzy, this is hysterical! I laughed so hard reading this. It was so you. I loved how you structured your blog. It was as if you were just including short little quips to entertain the audience in a unique way. Every single one was hilarious, but my personal favorites were "Accidentally start a chemical reaction that could blow up the school," "Chuck my experiment out a window, and watch it blow up," "Have Stags wake me up before Mrs Young even notices I fell asleep," and "Exchange an evil glare with Mr. Hanes." This was just awesome. Great job.
DeleteNick I love the way you did a timeline of your day at school. It was a really neat idea because we often go through the same routines without even noticing. I think the reason your set up worked well because each of us know what you are talking about in some situations making it really relatable to us all. I really think I ended up enjoying yours very much because it stood out and was different from the norm.
DeleteNick, I feel like your short lines really intrigued the reader's mind and engaged them into reading. Your humor with exaggeration was also very effective wi bowling experiments up in the chemistry lab. It is also highly relatable because almost every student has a subject they despise and a teacher they give deathly looks to because of it.
DeleteDoesn't it just add a jump to your step waking up in the morning at the butt crack of dawn to go and associate with people that could not care less about you? I think in addition to waking up so early and hanging out with best of the best, it bring me so much excitement to know I can look forward to a joyous bus ride on a bumpy road with my eighty-three year old bus driver, who has been known to almost kill us all a minimal of three times per day. Then , when I arrive at school, I love having to push people's book bags away from my locker because they have no idea what personal space is and listening to the stories in the hallways about who got drunk and slept with who this weekend. I think it is good to hear the story rather than just smell the sin in the air! It makes me so happy to know that the our class officers ran the chance of being arrested last night. The reassurance for seeing any of my friends after high school at any form of reunion is defiantly there.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing that I can't get enough of is that since I did not grow up with ANY of the kids in this school, I do not know any of the middle school stories that no one seems to comprehend happened up five years ago. Also, it is great that when you are not a part of any of these cult-like friendships that you can be included, but only to a certain extent.
The ultimate part of the school day is defiantly coming home though, because what is better than thinking that you can relax, but then realizing that you have three papers to write, a book to read, and some key terms to do? The best part is when you hit the point of tears and they end of smearing the pen on your papers that you worked so hard on, which causes you to cry harder. At some points, I might also feel as if selling a limb of yours might be the only way that I will ever make money will be by selling one of my limbs to science or on the black market, but that point of anxiety. Then, I realize that I can just use the money to pay off the education that is causing me the anxiety in the first place!
Your satire was very well done, Jenna. I loved the phrase "our class officers ran the chance of being arrested last night. " I really showcases what a state our grade is in. Class officers are supposed to be role models for the rest of the class and encourage others to aspire to their greatest potential. Our class officers are just the opposite. Ironically, most of the class seems to follow their example. This self-destructive lifestyle drastically reduces the number of reunions they will attend in the future, as you pointed out.
DeleteI know how you feel with the middle school stories Jenna!! I to feel left out, I try to tell my mom middle school stories that are funny to me, but no one else thinks they are funny because they weren't there. I too talked about the homework in my satire. Some nights it is never ending!
DeleteJenna, I am replying to your blog this week in defense of Charlotte. I believe that she is a wonderful bus driver. She never once wrecked in the last three years that I have been riding the bus. She has a heart big enough to move a dead cat off the street and to turn around and drive back to St. Marys when I left my gym clothes on the bus freshman year. She makes sure we practice our fire safety and will drop us off at the middle school on exam days. She is definitely not as crazy as our substitute driver who delivered me to my house by 2:35pm last year. I love Charlotte and I hope you have a change of heart.
DeleteI agree with both of you Jenna and Maddie! At least you guys a couple years worth of memories to share with them. I don't have any, but I guess I will once this school year is over! I too feel left out, and try to tell them some of my middle school stories that I think are funny. But like you said Jenna, they only let you in to a certain extent.
DeleteI just think it is not fair to insult our class officers. Everyone makes bad decisions. They also make good decisions. It is unfair to judge them based off them. Our class president is heading off for the army this summer, therefore I feel there needs to be respect.
Deletebe.eccss. School is everything. I eat, sleep, and breathe school. I eat terribly because lunch is a time to be.starved. Cafeteria food is the best for losing weight due to the lack of nutrients it provides. Still, I love how the lack of it helps me rush along so I can be.early to class. Sleeping school was sort of a lie. I never sleep because in order to learn I need to be.awake. I even need to be.awake during the night. How else would I be.able to do all my homework? Sleep never really was important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle, so I hardly even notice I don't have it in my life anymore. Besides, my grades are far too important for sleeping on. I need to be.theBest in every class or I'll be.aHobo for the rest of my life. Breathing school is not an exaggeration. The stench of body oder and heavy perfume makes school a place where I can be.sufffocated. But these things are just the basics! In addition to all these wonderful attributes, school helps me be.wellRounded. I love to be.athletic and be.musical. With all the clubs and sports around, school is helping me be.talented. School is also a place to be.ostricized. Little cliques and big cliques are sure to be.judgmental, and everyone in them will be.afraid to be.friends with anyone else. No worries, if I need acceptance I could just be.someone'sGirlfriend. All these couples blocking the hallways sure seem to be.inLove. I should just stand and observe because they've already made me be.late for my next class. Now my teacher is going to be.angry, even though it wasn't really my fault. Who decreed that the halls should be.sixInchesWide? Maybe I can placate her by asking questions. Maybe if I could be.smart. she would know I really do want to be.here. School is my life after all. My purpose is to be.eccss.
ReplyDeleteAshley, this was so funny! I loved how you extended the satirizing of the be.eccss slogan throughout the whole blog. It fit in so nicely and really made your blog pertinent to our school system in particular. Another aspect I absolutely loved was how you mentioned the couples blocking the hallways who must be.inlove. I constantly find myself weaving in and out of couples hugging and kissing all over the hallways. It was really funny how you mentioned them as your reason for being late to class. How true! Great job.
DeleteOh my goodness, Ashely I literally laughed out loud for like ten minutes after I read this. You really incorporated our motto in the most effective and true way possible! Your "be.ecc" theme was really amazing. I would have never though of doing something like that. You did a fantastic job!
DeleteI feel like this was one of the most effective satires that I have read. In this satire, you were able to tie in the common thread of the be. phrase that we have all come to know and love. By using that throughout your satire, it made it even funnier because we all knew what you were talking about.
Deletebe.eccss. be.eccss. be.eccss... The more I say it, the more I want to vomit. After hearing it for three years, I believe everyone is really sick and tired of it. Your satire perfectly played that God-awful slogan. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Florig would enjoy reading this satire that takes advantage of the slogan that came directly from her brain. And by the way, being a hobo is not that bad. They are able to tell how far away a train is, how fast it's moving, and how much mass it has. That's pretty talented I think. After all, ECCHS wants us all to be.talented, so being a hobo is not that bad.
DeleteAhh, high school. "It's the best time of your life," they say.
ReplyDeleteFor one thing, high school is the time when you witness true friendships. Isn't it touching to witness a teenage girl calling that other girl an *expletive-ing expletive* only to see that she has posted a selfie of the two of them the next day with the "#bestfriends"? Those are some #RelationshipGoals, amiright?
One's high school years are also a time to make their voices heard. I just love hearing our classmates speaking their minds by proclaiming the f-word a minimum of 16572828473 times a day. So inspiring! Who cares if we go to a Catholic school? Why should teachers scold students for speaking such vulgar language when they can just pretended they didn't hear it! Problem solved!
But what I really love about school is the intellectually structured routine of it all. Firstly, I am privileged to awaken so early in the morning that most of my chummy schoolmates have only just kicked the keg from last night's "study group." Then I get to drive my twelve brothers and eight cousins to school half-asleep, only to arrive late because one of them forgot something at home. I then am granted the honor of sitting through seven hours of classes complete with complementary whale noises emanating from the mouths of those who compete for the lowest class rank. Charming. And why pay attention during class when you can spend that time beating the next level of that invigorating game on your iPad! Who cares if you're not learning anything? As long as you have an iPad, you can store all of the test answers in your photo library for later use. And since everyone else is cheating, it would be foolish for you to actually study, or your grade would suffer. For that two-digit percentage on Edline is the single most important aspect of your high school career - NOT whether or not you learned anything. Ha ha at you for thinking otherwise.
But better yet, after all of this, I am graciously granted an additional hour of homework by each teacher. "It's only an hour!" they assure me. Eight hours later, when the sun is beginning to rise, I am expected to get nine hours of sleep to quell my "developing brain" that has already been crammed with 56284960375729273658303 irrelevant vocabulary words for HAP that I can't even remember one class period after taking the test. Good thing I'm learning though! Boy, high school really is "The best time of your life."
Mary I love how you did this! I hate how people say that highschool is "the best time of your life." If high school is the best time of my life, then I'm going to have a really sucky life. As you clearly put it, our school really prioritizes when it comes to their students. I really don't like how some of the teachers just dismiss it when the boys in our class start swearing. And I absolutely hate it how the students can cheat on their iPads and get away with it. I mean the least that the teachers could do would be to make everyone put their iPads away and have a paper test to make sure that the students don't cheat.
DeleteMary... Haha... Haha...! I cannot tell you how hard I laughed at this. I love how you captured so many areas of high school fun. This was truly well written and each of your main points tied in with each other making your satire very strong and effective. I really enjoyed reading this and even showed/read this too my parents. P.S. I really like the vocabulary comment... Killed me... Haha!!
DeleteMary, I'm so sorry. I f****** laughed my head off when I read your excellent satire. Anyways, jokes aside, I know exactly what you mean when you talk about kids swearing like every other word. I know I'm guilty of it in many occasions, but I'm trying to clean up my language. Also, I noticed your comment on whale noises emanating from the lowest of the low. How else are these students supposed to entertain themselves? Maybe they can do their schoolwork? I don't know...at least we can take solace in the fact they earned the Mrs. Florig-made award of "third honors."
DeleteThere is nothing I like better than waking up at 5:30 AM, and taking an hour to get ready for school. First, I put on my blouse that is like 2x too big because Flynn's cuts everything humungous for girls. But, the Lord knows we must be "modest!" Then, those socks don't even stay up on your legs, and shrink about 2 sizes when you wash them. Next, up in the wonderful dress code of ECC, we put on our tablecloths. I mean skirts. I mean “kilts.” Because you know, we play bagpipes in school, so we should wear a kilt. We then have those glorious sweaters! You can chose between 2 designer sweaters: wine or gray. They are so designer that we have to send them back 6 times before they put the ECCHS logo on them. I mean, not everyone can get an ECCHS logon on his or her sweaters. Its exclusive. Duh.
ReplyDeleteThen, the dress code changes with the season. Its spring! Glorious spring means we can wear polos! Because you know you can’t wear polos in the winter, because then you will get a detention. Don’t ask why you can’t wear polos in the winter. Its an ECC thing; just like our “designer sweaters.” Then, sometimes we get a dress down day! And by dress down day, I mean you have to wear an ECC shirt and jeans instead of tablecloths and a designer sweater! Oh, you thought a dress down day meant you could wear what ever you wanted? Not at ECC! And then, when it is warm out and we want to wear flip-flops, we can’t, unless they have a back on them. But everyone knows that there are always some people that can fly under the radar with the dress code. Those lucky ducks I tell ya! Girls can’t wear shorts either, because they are immodest. Who cares if the school is like 100 degrees and we are dying of heat stroke?
You should still wear jeans or capris, flip-flops with backs, and non-V-neck tee shirt. But eventually, high school ends and we are sent out into the real world. Oh, what will we do when we cannot wear our tablecloths and sweaters each day! Cultivate our own style and sense of fashion? What a novel idea!
Like every other kid in the history of the world, I just love school! I mean who wouldn't want to get up early every morning just to be walking into a minefield of stress and emotions? Every turn comes with a new surprise and every step could lead to total destruction. I can not think of a better way to spend my day than attending Elk County Catholic High School.
ReplyDeleteWith constant essays, tests, and pop quizzes, ECC really puts the icing on the cake when it comes to education. Who wouldn't want to spend their entire day studying and worrying about whether or not they are going to pass the test? Oh, and who doesn't absolutely adore having a pop quiz in math, especially when you just learned the material the day before. Then after all of the stress of the actual school day is over, there is all that lovely homework that consumes the rest of the night. The thing that I love the most is when I forget to do my homework and rush to get it done the next morning. Something else that everyone loves is when they worked extremely hard on their homework because they think it's for a grade but then the teacher says that it's not even participation points. Another great thing about ECC is when all of the teachers plot together to make every single test on the same day!
Other than the agonizing school work, I love all of the drama that goes on in the school. People lying and gossiping are what I look forward to every day. Hearing how this person did this and that person did that really makes my morning. All of the "OMG did you hear what *insert person's name here* did?" really shows the charismatic traits of the individuals in ECC.
When it comes to education, there would be no other school that I would want to go to. ECC has so many desired traits. I don't know why anyone would not want to attend this school, or any school for that matter.
Ahh, morning, I smile as I anticipate another wonderful day at ECC. Then, my alarm buzzes and I wake up to my cat meowing at my door. Reality begins to creep in. I am not at East High with Troy Bolton. My high school experience is no Disney movie. I roll out of bed and put on my uniform. As if dressing up a felt doll, I slap it on. Instead of sitting at fancy vanity, humming an upbeat tune, gently brushing my hair, I spend an hour devising reasons why I shouldn't go to school. Finally, I resign myself to the fact that my parents won't buy any of them and I quickly brush my hair and throw it up in a messy bun. I slide down the stairs expecting my joyous family to greet me with smiles and hugs but instead get a head nod from my brother and a sweaty hug from my dad who just came back from a thousand mile run. I didn't inherit his motivation. Lacking motivation, I don't have the energy to make myself breakfast so I go off to school on an empty stomach in a monster car. Running late, I rush into the classroom. Here come the announcements and I wonder what exciting things are in store for me this week. Instead of excitement, I get the same old, same old... Meatless Monday followed by Taco Tuesday. Oh great, another week of starvation. First period, comes and in goes a movie. Do they really think I can stay awake for this? Don't they know I was up all night studying and then procrastinating and then studying and procrastinating some more? Struggling to keep my eyes open, I blink and it is lunch time already. Time for the daily scavenger hunt of trying to find something edible in a sea of "healthy" options. After "feasting" on an apple and some carrots, I digest some more of my HAP vocab. words. The fifty calories is not match for my fifty word quiz! After failing yet another HAP quiz, I pick myself up and finish the academic part of my day. Now, I rush home to eat all I can before practice. Is this what you had in mind, Mrs. Obama, when you change our school lunch program?? After a long, intense practice, I look forward to enjoying some free time. Oh, never mind, I forgot. The only free time I get is in my car. I now get to spend the next six hours of my life doing homework. What more could I girl ask for? One a.m., I finally nestle in my bed but there are no visions of sugar plums dancing in my head. Instead my mind is filled with sins, tangents and rhetoric rotating in my head. I drift off to sleep, smiling, knowing that I get to do this all over again. Oh, wait! There's the alarm!
ReplyDelete